Well its another Friday afternoon and here you are. I can announce that I have this week acquired two new blogspot assistants (or "bitches" as we like to call them in prison) to help me trawl the web for the bits that sink to the bottom. Introducing Ash and Nick. One dresses up as a fireman for work and the other dresses up as a fireman in the privacy of his own home.

Happy Friday

Why cats shouldn't drink coffee

Nice story on how to load a car

Dildo-shaped candy anyone?

This is a brilliant site full of research about those stories and emails you get sent on a regular basis. Truth or Fiction.com

Is there any truth to the rumour there are guns out there that look like mobile phones?
Yep.

Is there any truth to the rumour that people are ringing you on your mobile and asking you to dial '90#' so they can rip you off? Load of bollocks!

This just in from "WeirdNewsOnline.com"

Assassin Mistakenly Honored At Martin Luther King Celebration
The town of Lauderhill, Florida is very upset after a plaque intended to honor James Earl Jones instead honored the wrong man. The plaque was to be displayed at a celebration of Martin Luther King Jr.'s life, but instead of honoring Jones, the plaque read, "Thank you James Earl Ray for keeping the dream alive." James Earl Ray was the man who assassinated King in 1968. A Merit Industries spokesman Herbert Miller, said that it was caused by an unintentional error, "We in no way meant any disrespect. It was an honest error."

Obscure US patents

http://www.nodoze.net A website that tells people how to do everything they shouldn't. I am sure you could find Osama and Timothy McVeigh in the guestbook somewhere.

Matchstick Rockets!! Why didn't they have these things when I was a kid?

Cheap fireworks!! Launch them indoors! Don't worry about the weather on guy fawks night!!

Sick Puppy Website
A familiar theme, but a popular one "Weirdos and their dogs"

If I wouldn't have said to Tom, "I really like your bitch and should you decide to breed Alice, keep me in mind for a show puppy," I know I wouldn't have this wonderful "hunk" of a dog that I have today. Sonny is the "apple of my eye" and I would be lost without him.

Ode to a dog
We then went to the vet and I held my dear friend as he drifted off to sleep as he now was going back to God who had given me this special little dog to care for while on this earth.... I truly believe he was my soul mate. Sam would sit with me while I was on the computer and I would hold him, kiss him, hug him and.... he would stare at me as if to say he understood. To God I say, "Thank you for allowing me to care for Sam while he was on this earth."

You will find a sick bag in the pocket of the seat in front of you

Simply the game of the year
Simply the game of the year
Simply the game of the year
Simply the game of the year
Simply the game of the year
Simply the game of the year
Simply the game of the year
Simply the game of the year
Simply the game of the year
Simply the game of the year
There you go "nuff said"

Credit to Ash Rathod for finding this masterpiece

"Black Cochin Frizzle Bantam Cock". No I don't have Torrets Syndrome, its a bird, its a plane... no it's actually a bird...



Come look at my Large Fowl Cock...

This weeks selection is brought ot you by 'The Children of the NRA'

To those members of the NRA who receive this email, this ones for you (and the Washington sniper) and your 'constitutional' right to shoot people (oops! I mean bear arms)

Who said this website isn't trying to do its bit to bring the world together? Here's just one example of how the internet is reaching across those boundaries of humankind and breaking the chains of discimination. Please visit Sally and Johnny's www.blackpeopleloveus.com website and share in that warm squishy feeling...

Lisa Marie Presley switched as a child
Weird and funny at the same time

Welcome to the 21st century, play this amazing 3D PONG

Rabbit breeding game This is an excellent game.
The aim is to breed eight rabbits.
The Rules: Use your mouse to 'get them together'. Watch out for meteors, Don't mate male to male, Keep them away from the electric fence, simple really. Big clue, the males like to smoke and the females like to do their makeup (before you complain about the sex stereotyping - I didn't write this game!)

Various Uses of Placenta
Enjoy your lunch. Chances are if you're wearing makeup, then you're wearing some on your face already...

Cut the meat away from the membranes with a sharp knife. Discard the membranes.

Placenta Cocktail: 1/4 cup raw placenta, 8oz V-8 juice, 2 ice cubes, 1/2 cup carrot. Blend at high speed for 10 seconds

Placenta Lasagne: Use your favorite lasagne recipe and substitute this mixture for one layer of cheese. In 2 tbl. olive oil, quickly saute meat of 3/4 placenta, ground or minced plus 2 sliced cloves of garlic, 1/2 tsp. oregano, 1/2 diced onion & 2 tbl. tomato paste, or 1 whole tomato.

Placenta Spaghetti: Cut meat of 3/4 placenta into bite size pieces, then brown quickly in 1 tbl. butter plus 1 tbl. oil. Then add 1 large can tomato puree, 2 cans crushed pear tomatoes, 1 onion, 2 cloves of garlic, 1 tbl. molasses, 1 bay leaf, 1 tbl. rosemary, 1 tsp. ea. of salt, honey, oregano, basil, and fennel. Simmer 1 1/2 hours.

Placenta Stew: Meat of 3/4 placenta in bite size chunks, 1 potato (cubed), 1/4 cup fresh parsley, 2 carrots, 3 ribs celery, 1 zucchini, 1 large tomato, 1 small onion. Dredge meat in 1 tbl. flour mixed with 1 tsp salt, 1/2 tsp. paprika, pinch of cloves, pinch of pepper, 6-8 crushed coriander seeds. Saute meat in 2 tbl. oil, then add vegetables (cut up) and 4-5 cups of water. Bring to full boil, then simmer for 1 hour.

Placenta Pizza: Grind placenta. Saute in 2 tbl. olive oil with 4 garlic cloves, then add 1/4 tsp fennel, 1/4 tsp. pepper, 1/4 tsp paprika, 1/4 tsp. salt, 1/2 tsp. oregano, 1/4 tsp. thyme, and 1/4 cup of wine. Allow to stand for 30 minutes, then use with your favorite home made pizza recipe. It's a fine placenta sausage topping.